Facing the ‘unknown’ with integrity
by Carol Greco
The first residential retreat I’d ever attended was at a local convent. The setting was lovely, with rolling hills and stately trees. The building was made of cement blocks and my room was a bit shabby – and it was just perfect. I have memories of feeling transported during the group walking practice, and feeling crazed, too – convinced on the first day that everyone hated me and that someone had stolen my shoes!
Fast forward about 15 years. I walked into the same retreat center/convent, this time as the Mindfulness instructor for a research study. I had spent months working with other researchers and with two of my meditation teachers to design an intervention based upon MBSR that could be delivered in a weekend retreat setting. The participants showed up at the retreat center, not knowing whether they would be assigned to the mindfulness meditation group or to a ‘rest and relax’ group. And, honestly, not really knowing much about meditation or mindfulness. They were nervous, and so was I.
Being the mindfulness instructor in research studies brings its own set of ‘unknowns’ beyond those that are part of teaching MBSR in community or clinical settings. First, research participants typically do not attend any formal mindfulness orientation, so their knowledge is limited. They need to be willing to be assigned, like the flip of a coin, to either the Mindfulness-Based Intervention (MBI) or a control group. Second, unlike MBSR participants in community programs, the research participants often receive compensation, which may be an important motivation for their signing up. The wide range of participants’ motivations and knowledge can add to the ‘unknowns’ for the teacher: will we be able to form a supportive, inclusive container for learning and growth?
Just as the MBI instructor steps into the unknown when meeting participants where they are, so must the instructor be willing to step into connection with a variety of research team members. While some leaders of mindfulness research have a deep personal practice, others may have only a surface understanding of mindfulness and meditation. The presence of the MBI interventionist on the team may help to deepen the team’s knowledge and can ensure accuracy of the intervention description in research publications.
The same qualities of openness, compassion, and integrity we intend to embody when teaching MBSR can be carried forward into research endeavors, just like the rest of life.
The nervousness I felt that retreat study weekend ebbed and flowed.
I remember long ago, sitting in the interview room with my teacher, weeping as an insight struck me deep. And I remember sitting in the teacher’s seat in that same room. Fully present, vibrating in connection with a weeping research participant who touched into her own suffering and contacted wisdom. A door opening.