Finding Healing on this Coronavirus Retreat

In 1999, I moved to Cincinnati to start a Neonatology Fellowship and during a call night in my first month, I was asked to take a baby off life support for a family that I had gotten to know. Despite being well-trained in the medical and procedural aspects of why this was an appropriate plan of care and the steps needed to withdraw support, I was not even remotely prepared for this experience. It was months of internal inquiry and six baby deaths later before a state of grace found me.